Friday, September 12, 2014

Get ready. Get set. And GO!


Sometimes it is necessary to leave the relationship in order to wake the aspie up.

Read "The Emotionally Destructive Marriage" by Leslie Vernick.  This is a different book from "The Emotionally Destructive Relationship" by the same author.  Vernick goes against the common Christian counsel when she encourages a time of separation as a positive step.  How true that "if you don't allow the abuser to suffer the pain of consequences, he will never change."

I am a Christian whose spouse has Asperger's Syndrome.  And I left my angry aspie.  Got my stuff and kids ready.  Got set for the right moment.  And left.

Five years of pleading with him to go to counseling, to be evaluated for Aspergers, and to work on communication in our marriage met adamant refusal.

It took my leaving to wake him up.  It took a dramatic, drastic, serious action.  It took suffering the consequences.  And you know what?

My spouse just received an official diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome.  A 100% confirmed diagnosis.

And we are now in marriage counseling with a counselor who is very familiar with autism spectrum disorders.

Praise God.

Let's get ready, get set, and go.

Get ready.  Get set.  And GO.


  1. It must have taken a lot of strength to do this as both my son and hubby (both Aspies) are reliant on me. Good for you now you now seem to be on the right path.

  2. I had this same experience. He's really working hard now that the kids and I moved out. We are actually planning to continue in separate houses. At least for now.

    1. I moved out two months ago after 35 years of marriage to an Aspie husband. Although we only realized he was Aspie about four years ago when our son was diagnosed. I am out of the prison but don't want to leave our marriage because I am a believer in miracles and hope in a big God. I would like to talk with other wives that have moved out and what steps or resources they have taken as a wife and mother to survive and figure out what to do. my number is 760-390-1028. i live in north idaho. Please help!