from "Boundaries in Marriage" by Cloud and Townsend

I highly recommend the book Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud and Townsend.

Some noteworthy tidbits:

and what aspie spouses dream their aspies would comprehend-- "Another part of the 'you are not me' concept is the ability to see another person for who she is apart from what we need or want from her and to love and appreciate that person for who she is . . . . To cherish someone's existence apart from you and apart from what you get from that person . . . To see the other person as distinct and separate from you --a person in her own right, with value and wonderful things about her that have nothing to do with gratifying you in any way other than pure appreciation.  This is the joy of just knowing a person."

From Proverbs-- "Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you.  Rebuke a wise man and he will love you."

"People in denial are deaf to words of truth.  Just using words will not get the message across.  They only respond to pain and loss.  Separation or distancing may be necessary."

"Someone who is boundary resistant will deny, rationalize, and blame.  The nature of resistance:  an opposition to seeing or owning an issue."

"A boundary without a consequence is 'nagging.'" 

"Be prepared to meet with resistance [when you first begin using boundaries in your marriage]."

"God uses your need within your marriage to reorient you to a growing love relationship with Him as the source of your life."

Reading the original book "Boundaries" before reading "Boundaries in Marriage" would be most helpful.  Introducing boundaries--and enforcing them with practical consequences--has been life-changing.  Thank you Cloud and Townsend!