Friday, April 30, 2010

Cracking Up

After telling a story about something so funny it made the person "crack up," my daughter asked if the person really got cracks in them. "No, it's just an expression that means you laugh really hard." Still looking puzzled, she said . . . "yeah, I thought so."

Recently during her speech therapy they worked on the meanings of several different expressions. And I am very thankful that our insurance is covering the sessions now (her doctor filled out a 'medical necessity' form).

Thursday, April 15, 2010

"Asperger Moments"

A quote worth memorizing:

"Even at the most painful moments, try to detach and see the 'Asperger Moment' for what it is -- a statement of fact, not emotion."

from the 2009 book Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going over the Edge? Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship by Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Understanding Reality for an Aspie's Wife

The "Going Over the Edge" book has sparked some serious contemplation.

+Detachment is reality. There won't be an emotional connection in the marriage and the NT has to accept that. You won't get many compliments or much praise or appreciation. Your emotional state will not be comprehended and your needs will not be understood unless you explicity state them. He doesn't have those abilities and you cannot change him!

+You may find yourself making excuses to "cover" for your spouse's inabilities. (I believe it's best to only say things that are edifying about others. But this is a real challenge with certain AS situations. I aim to pray for wisdom and be 'slow to speak'.)

+You can love him even when he is "cold". Know that he does love you. He does care. He is just "cold". That's the way God made him. Be thankful for the ways he does show love (ex., providing for the family).

+Everything happens for a reason. Don't feel sorry for yourself or your children. You (and your children) can grow in wisdom and strength through the challenges that come from having autism in the family.

The book faces reality and yet is encouraging at the same time. Ouch, and yay.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Helpful Asperger Marriage Book

If you are an NT married to a spouse with Asperger's and want to read something that lets you know you are not alone, check out "Going Over the Edge" by Kathy Marshack.

This easy read is filled with real-life examples, true stories, and helpful, positive suggestions for handling difficult situations. How nice to find something encouraging to read about life with aspies!