It seems fairly common for women suffering from emotional neglect in aspergers marriages to get a separation or divorce. But because of my faith and Christian worldview, divorce is unequivocally not an option for me in this scenario.
The short answer to the why behind that statement is that God hates divorce. Unless there is adultery, abandonment, or abuse involved, the Bible does not allow for divorce. I don't believe emotional neglect is abuse, though I do believe there is a such thing as emotional abuse, evidenced in such things as yelling, swearing, name-calling, and the like. The Bible calls one who divorces without biblical grounds an adulterer.
More practical details are that the children would indeed suffer more from us getting a divorce than they would from our staying together. There are many, many good things in our life and overall we have a happy family. We have security, stability, dedication and loyalty, and more. If you come into our home you will hear loud, joyful laughter more often than not.
Just because deep down "mama ain't happy" doesn't mean "ain't nobody happy." Mama needs to work out her unhappiness, yes. But without God's blessing, mama ain't gonna be happy. Not married, not in an affair, not alone, not anywhere! And God will not bless me in an unbiblical divorce.
My biblical counselor has told me that emotional discouragement is spiritual warfare. The enemy of the Christian faith wants us to dwell in anger, bitterness, and discouragement so that our lives and our families and our witness will be destroyed. We are to fight such feelings with prayer, with faith, with hope, with love, with knowing and using the 'sword of the Spirit', which is the Word of God, the Bible.
It's a battle. It's a daily struggle. I'm in the midst of the batttle, wavering and weak. But I am determined to fight for my family and to fight for my faith. And my faith comforts me with who will eventually (and eternally!) win.
Even when I am most sad and lonely, I can sing with my children because I know it to be true . . . "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so."
Saturday, June 5, 2010
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