Thursday, March 26, 2015

For Better

Counseling has made a world of difference in our relationship!  Meeting with a counselor who understands autism, and having my emotions validated by a professional in the presence of my aspie spouse, is what I needed to be able to move forward with contentment.  I didn't realize how much I needed that.

Whether he ever understands me, communication, or our relationship, the fact that he physically attends a counseling session where he has to give his full attention to the marriage has completely changed us for the better.

When we miss a session, anger and misery creep back, old habits return with a vengeance.  For now it is obvious that we must regularly meet together with a counselor.   It only makes sense, right?  The aspie is often lacking the common sense to see what others see so easily. He needs to focus deeply on the task.  He might see counseling as pointless.  Even during and after sessions he may believe it was a waste of time.  But if it's what you need, it's okay to make it a non-negotiable requirement.

Whether he realizes it or not, the relationship got his full attention for the time in counseling, and seeds were planted that will slowly take root and grow. Somewhere in that amazing aspie brain, communication was the focus.  He was there.  He was there with me.  Though it may not make any sense to him whatsoever, his attending counseling sessions with me makes me know that he cares and that he is trying.

It's better.  The relationship is not all good. But it's better.

Praise God, we are better.


  1. I needed to see this today. I've been checking every once in a while to see if there was an update after you "left." Things are hard right now. But God told me to check today. And here it is. Thank you.

  2. Good news. Would love to see more blog entries and also an opportunity to chat with you if possible as we share many life similarities.

  3. Have not read your post for over a year. I concur. Grieving is very important. I am glad that you are getting counselling for you. Being married to an aspie is very challenging. My patience has worn very thin and I am just so tired!! I am at a stage right now where I am not very willing to put up with much. The Lord knows I am weak and tired. Without the Lord as my strength and hope I would not be able to cope. I know that He will fill me once again to give generously but right now I am just worn. After all I am human. Sometimes we just have these times and struggle - yet the Lord understands and is gentle.