Monday, April 4, 2011

Relationship Help for Women with Asperger's Syndrome

This year I attended a large autism conference.  There were many excellent talks led by various professionals in the field of autism, but the session that had the most profound effect on me came from a Q and A panel with autistic adults.  I'm still processing and trying to take it all in.

The women with aspergers shared that the most helpful book they have found to improve their relationships is "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.  Another book called "The Art of Talking" was mentioned, but I'm sorry to say I'm not sure exactly which book/author they were referring to as there are more than one with similar titles.

It seemed that these female aspies deeply valued being accepted by others, and they were frustrated by how often they are wrongly judged and misunderstood.

Reading and applying the relationship skills advice found in the above mentioned books could be invaluable helps in maintaining and deepening relationships with others.  If you don't learn how to communicate and show concern and care for others in the way they need/want you to, you will have very few good friendships.  If you are unable to reciprocate relationally in the typical fashion, others will feel they are the only one holding the relationship together.  A few maternal, committed types will stick by you.  Most folks will let the relationship go.  But you do have the power to sustain friendships if you realize it takes work and commitment to learn how.  There is hope!  Just don't expect it to be easy. 

The best success will come when you determine to learn absolutely all you can about communicating with others and making friendships flourish.  If this area becomes your special interest and new hobby, you could not only master the skills, but also then be able to teach others about the art of keeping relationships strong!

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