Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Relapses Recur

Relapses recur.  Even when communication patterns have been going smoothly for a while, the NT will face a scenario which makes her emotional.  She will forget about waiting until she is calm and rational to continue a discussion.  She may even "go there" and attempt to explain her feelings and her desire to connect on an emotional level.  It can spiral into a long, drawn out conversation that will never go anywhere productive and will leave her sobbing in the closet.

When this happens, especially if the aspie is still in denial that there is anything different about his way of thinking, the NT may question her sanity.  This is when positive Aspergers forums are the most help.  At under the forum "AS and Relationships That Work" there is a sidebar link called "From Loneliness to Balance".  You can there read posts that are likely to mirror exactly what you are feeling.   But better than that, you will be encouraged that it can get better.  

Drill, drill, drilling this into memory.... I must give up all efforts to show aspie spouse my emotional pain.  Unless I can tell him a practical way to help me, there is only more pain to be found in sharing my emotions with him.

But it's okay.  This is normal in an NT/AS relationship.  Relapses will recur.  The great news and hope is that as we learn to communicate better, these relapses will become less and less frequent.

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