ACCEPTANCE is what it all comes down to, isn't it? That's what they say. That's what they've always said. "Just accept me." But we desire something different. Desperately longing for emotional connection, we read every book ever written on the differences between men and women. Trying every trick, applying every formula, nothing ever truly gives us the desired result.
We expect more. We expect 'typical', 'normal', 'neurotypical'. No matter how many books on autism we read, we can NOT drop our expectations.
And so we suffer. Deep, depressing suffering engulfs us.
He has limitations. Serious, brain-wired, emotional limitations. He cannot be what we want. He cannot. Which means it is unkind and unloving of us to expect more of him than he can ever give. We must accept his limitations.
The Mantra of the Aspie Spouse should be
"Drop the Expectations and Accept his Limitations."
If only it were that easy.