Okay. Nice to have a little something positive to share about progress in an NT/AS relationship:
First the bad news, or I should say the 'typical scenario' that occurred recently . . . NT wife was bedridden with an illness. AS spouse did not once, all day, check in on NT wife. Did not once ask if she needed medicine, food, or even a sip of water.
Good news . . . instead of being overcome with anger and flooded by tears, NT wife was fairly emotionless (wow) and calmly and rationally went to AS spouse and said something along these lines:
I am really sad and feel very hurt that while I was so sick and in so much pain you went all day without even once checking to see how I was doing or if I needed medicine or even water. It also hurt me that when I told you I didn't feel well the first thing you did was act frustrated that I was messing up your plans for the day. You didn't ask questions or try to find out exactly what was wrong or how I was feeling. That is very unkind and unloving of you.
Now, if it isn't amazing enough that NT wife was not YELLING and crying while she said these things . . . hold on to your hats folks, because a miracle occurred when AS spouse replied with the words, and I quote:
Miracle of miracles! Wham, Bam, Ala Ka Zam! And that's all he said! He didn't get defensive and make excuses and make it all about him and his frustration. He shut the heck up after saying "I'm sorry."
Yes, I'm in shock. No, I never thought I'd see the day. Please, God, let this not be a one-time event. Please, please let this be real, sustainable progress in an NT/AS relationship.
Can I hear an "amen?"