Even though what is being said won't have the same meaning to each of us, that's okay. The words the NT wants to hear are not taken literally by the NT. If verbal expressions of empathy are memorized and applied by the aspie, it can bring peace in our communication with one another.
*NT to Aspie:
When you say "I know that" (when I am sharing my thoughts/feelings with you), it makes me feel angry. It would make me feel calm if you would say the words "I understand."
Optional further explanation:
"I know that" sounds combative and defensive to my brain and "I understand" sounds like caring and empathy to me.
*Disclaimer for this and all future shared clues: These words will not be healing balms for all NT/AS people. But it sure works for me!