Studying and practicing forgiveness is vitally important, but forbearing with an aspie spouse may be just as vital to practice and contemplate. I am currently wading through another commentary-like reference book by the biblical counselor Martha Peace, called Attitudes of a Transformed Heart.
The dictionary says forbearance is "patient endurance." Mrs. Peace says "A person who is forbearing puts up with the differences as well as mistakes of others and they biblically bear with the sins of others. One should think:
1. How can I help them?
2. I would do this quicker but I can forbear with their slowness and wait.
3. It's their choice to do something that way and it's okay if they do it that way.
She goes on to say that Jesus had to put up with more than we can ever imagine. We should work hard at having unity in our home. We should bear with one another and forgive. Do not judge motives. Be accepting of (non-sinful) differences.
Forbearance also means showing tolerance. "I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance to one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:1-3
"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you." Colossians 3: 12-13
This is a daily struggle and so very difficult. God, help us.