Sometimes it is necessary to leave the relationship in order to wake the aspie up.
Read "The Emotionally Destructive Marriage" by Leslie Vernick. This is a different book from "The Emotionally Destructive Relationship" by the same author. Vernick goes against the common Christian counsel when she encourages a time of separation as a positive step. How true that "if you don't allow the abuser to suffer the pain of consequences, he will never change."
I am a Christian whose spouse has Asperger's Syndrome. And I left my angry aspie. Got my stuff and kids ready. Got set for the right moment. And left.
Five years of pleading with him to go to counseling, to be evaluated for Aspergers, and to work on communication in our marriage met adamant refusal.
It took my leaving to wake him up. It took a dramatic, drastic, serious action. It took suffering the consequences. And you know what?
My spouse just received an official diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. A 100% confirmed diagnosis.
And we are now in marriage counseling with a counselor who is very familiar with autism spectrum disorders.
Let's get ready, get set, and go.
Get ready. Get set. And GO.