No matter how much time goes by. Days, weeks, months, may even go by where you go into hiding. Staying away, staying silent, refusing to engage in any conversation that may possibly divulge a remnant of feeling, brought some semblance of peace.
But that won't last. It cannot possibly last. Because you have a neurologically typical brain, heart, soul.
And he doesn't.
In a moment of . . . What was it this time? Intense feeling? A desire to share? Forgetfulness? Foolishness? Mere stupidity on your part? Whatever the cause, you did it yet again.
You shared something of yourself. And the result was utter destruction. Sheer madness. Wondering again "What the hell just happened here?"
Oh, yeah. Now I remember.
Back into the hole I go.
I choose peace.