Does your aspie fly into rages? Intensely fear abandonment? Have extremely poor emotion regulation?
If so, consider researching Borderline Personality Disorder. The website "Out of the Fog" has tremendous resources to help understand BPD as well as helps for understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
It seems autism can have several different comorbid disorders. So, don't blame every difficulty on autism! Research personality disorders.
And if your loved one fits the bill for a personality disorder, definitely study Codependency. You may be caught up in a common disorder yourself, and without realizing it, you might be enabling the dysfunction.
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I just want to say that you're such a courageous woman! I wrote you about 2 years ago about my then boyfriend who wanted me to obey him no matter what (with his hand on the bible). You then said RUN.
ReplyDeleteI did. But you stick to your husband, no matter how difficult it is. May God give you strength and wisdom and lots of love! :-)
How are you?? Where is he now, and are you happy? I hope you have found much joy and peace!
DeleteDear Aspom, I would like to know whether attending counselling sessions with your husband has made a real, lasting difference or whether you have to start it all over again every day. In short is counselling the answer to the problems in an Aspie-NT relationship?
ReplyDeleteCounseling definitely does not solve the problems. But counseling puts communication and the marriage on the minds of both of you, so, with a lot of work and commitment, things have a chance of being better, and being bearable. But don't stop the counseling.... Maybe the visits can be very spaced out, eventually. But don't stop. And make sure to find a counselor who has understanding and experience with aspergers. Otherwise, things might actually get even worse! (Some counsellors might make an NT spouse feel guilty and completely in the wrong, if they have no understanding of aspergers!)
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