Oh, HELP. Holiday drama time is here again.
Conflict, conflict, conflict. This time with a woman who has Asperger's.
Her "feelings are hurt." She is demanding certain actions and behaviors from another person. She "takes no delight in understanding, but only in airing her own opinions." (Which the Bible calls a fool, btw.)
There is zero desire to hear the other person's perspective (of course). There is no compassion or empathy for the struggles the other person is going through. There is an air of superiority, and there are many demands to have her own way. Guilt messages are vomited out of her mouth. And it's all making me sick.
There is no point in trying to share a different perspective, right? So, what do you do? Really. What do you do?
Reading, and re-reading Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. The chapter that deals with Guilt Messages is excellent. This relationship may completely break down, for a time, anyway. And that might be a necessary, and eventually, a productive thing.
DEEP,
DEEP,
SIGH.
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Well, as it turns out, it's possible to be an Aspie AND a fool, and the two might not even have anything to do with one another! Just like someone can be an Aspie and be abusive.
ReplyDeletePeople who have Apserger's can understand other peoples' perspectives. It can be difficult, but they can if they try. If they choose not to even bother trying it might be because they are choosing to take advantage of the other person's neurosis.
If the latter is true, then the root cause isn't really the Asperger's, but an attitude of entitlement, which is a fundamental characteristic of manipulative and abusive personalities.
See "In Sheep's Clothing" by Dr. George Simon.
Thank you SO much for sharing this!
ReplyDelete"In Sheep's Clothing" was good, but was so technical that it seemed to be written as a resource guide for professional counselors. I just read "Beyond Boundaries" by Townsend, and it says much of what you mention above. Thanks again!
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