Thanks for the comments I have been so remiss in posting! I'm still here. Physical ailments have hit hard lately. It's been helpful to see my physical weakness right now as equal to my aspie's neurological weakness. I simply cannot physically do much of the work I had been doing. And he simply CANNOT be an emotional/spiritual support to me. We each have serious limitations! Recognizing that and accepting it and dropping those darned expectations for him to do and be otherwise is So Very Important.
Neither is better or worse than the other. Each are flawed and weak in some way. Each has a job to do and these roles can be a complement to each other. And when these two weak and flawed humans work hard in their areas of respective strengths, they can make for one very productive team.
Doesn't mean it's easy or fun, but it's funny how being totally weak can help us see such strength in others.