And my previous post leads me to ponder the criticism issue. It's not that I hear an abundance of criticism. Overall the problem is, of course, the communication deficit. Because of the extreme deficit in the area of my aspie spouse giving compliments or praise, it seems as if any verbal remarks made to or about me are usually a criticism.
In "How to Win Friends and Influence People", one learns to balance criticism by first offering compliments or sincere words of praise. In an NT/AS relationship, this probably isn't the way it's done.
The NT rarely hears praise or compliments from her aspergers relatives. She is probably not acknowledged with positive verbal remarks or personal knowledge or appreciation of her character, personality, or any aspects of her humanity, for that matter. So when she is then verbally criticized for something she thinks, did, or is . . . well, you can imagine the feelings this would invoke.
It's just a ranting day, I'm afraid. I might delete these rants in a minute, but sometimes it's helpful to simply share raw, honest emotions.