NT/AS Clue: The Aspie should not ask "what's wrong?" The Aspie should instead ask "what can I do to help?" The NT should not respond to "what's wrong" with an explanation of her emotional state. The NT should respond to "what's wrong" with a clear-cut statement of something practical the aspie could do to help her feel better.
It took me YEARS to understand this NT/AS rule. Countless times when I have been upset, my aspie spouse has asked (ahem, demanded) that I respond to "What's wrong?" Idiotic me (ok, neuro-typically wired me) would always go into a long explanation of my emotional problems/feelings at the time. BIG MISTAKE. Always ended in tears (for me) because he never responded appropriately. Now, of course, I understand that he truly didn't ever intend to be mean. Now I know that when he asks "what's wrong", what he means is "what can I do to help?"
And that's all he means. He doesn't have any interest in, and doesn't know what to "do" with, emotional monologue. He does, however, want to help. And so I can help him better help me by dropping the emotional stuff and respond with the likes of:
"I'm tired, can you watch the kids?" or "I'm stressed, can you massage my neck?" or "I just need a hug" or "Will you please bring me a drink?"
And it would really help the NT (who when she is emotional, and tired, and stressed, can't think well in aspie language anyway), if the Aspie would change his language and use the words "What can I do to help?" rather than saying "What's wrong?"
NOTE TO ASPIES: When you ask "what's wrong?" you are really asking for it . . . NT style! Thank you for wanting to help. But please, please use the words "What can I do to help you right now?" It'll make things so much clearer and so much easier. For everyone.