I've never thought of myself as a people pleaser, codependent, or one who is easily swayed by peer pressure. But the book When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man by Edward Welch is eye-opening in its discussions of emotions and our relationship to God and man.
One helpful phrase from the book that is worth memorizing is
"Need people less, and love people more."
When I am struggling with my emotions, I reflect on those words and try to change my focus. I should need God more than I need others. I should care more what God thinks about me than what others think of me. And I should be loving toward those who do not love me back (at least in the way I expect that they should).
I do have aspergers myself. I believe we were all created in God's image. Couldn't God have many images in fact an infinite amount of images since God is infinity?
ReplyDeleteMaybe God put us aspies here for a reason. I sure wish I knew what it was.
Excellent advice. It's difficult to maintain a marriage relationship when one has to also maintain emotional detachment from an Aspie, or suffer. We were made for relationship with others to satisfy some of our needs, but if we "need" them to survive, that's to our detriment. I believe that if we lean totally on God, and love others as you have suggested, He will provide human relationships that meet our social needs.
ReplyDeleteThe emotion question is exactly the one I am working on trying to understand. Providentially, I just picked up this book last week. I wish I had read it years ago when it was first out and recommended to me, but all in God's timing.
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