This is a follow-up post to "In Sickness and For Worse":
Keep in mind that one of your aspie's best traits is his/her loyalty to you.
If you are injured in a car wreck or one day have brain cancer, become brain damaged, and are then just not yourself for the rest of your life . . . your aspie would stick by you. She/he would keep her vow to stay with you when many NTs wouldn't. Many NTs would run and leave you all alone.
Your aspie is likely very faithful and loyal. We should learn this great trait from them.
It is worthy of honor.
"Your aspie is likely..." is a fantastic way to put it and so much more true than "Your aspie is definitely...". People have different personalities, even when they have a neurology in common.
ReplyDeleteYes, one Aspie husband, married to someone who was injured in a car wreck or damaged in the brain, would stick by her. He'd keep his vows to stay with her! :D
One more Aspie husband, like the husband one more wife described at http://aspiewifeandmom.blogspot.com/2011/07/aspie-caregiver-and-chronic-illness.html?showComment=1314538308465#c6096566785108659193 , married to someone who was injured in a car wreck or damaged in the brain, would be different. He would tell her "What do you think single parents do when they are injured in a car wreck or damaged in the brain? They still have to do everything by themselves!"
One other Aspie husband, married to someone who was injured in a car wreck or damaged in the brain, would stick by her, keep his vows to stay with her...and switch his Aspie focusing-deeply-and-narrowly skills from focusing on model trains, abstract math, Japanese cartoons, or whatever to focusing on the latest research on treating car injuries or brain damage - news he can use to help her, their family, and her doctors even more!
Some other Aspie husband, married to someone who was injured in a car wreck or damaged in the brain, would break his vows to stay the same way he already broke his vows to do anything *for* her emotions. He'd tell himself that it's more efficient, more cost-effective, and less neurotypically emotional to go find someone else to perform wifely duties for him.
Yet another Aspie husband, married to someone who was injured in a car wreck or damaged in the brain, would think "I can't read her nonverbal cues, I can't help it, it's my neurology" and *ask* her what's helpful for her (and if she can't talk anymore, he'd ask someone trustworthy who *can* read her nonverbal cues to *translate*!). He'd *listen* to her answers, think "that's what she wants, she can't help it, it's her neurology" and not argue with her to change her answers. Then he'd keep his vows to help her by doing what he was just told was helpful to do for her!